Harriette Cole: How do I talk to my roommate about his 5 a.m. routine?

DEAR HARRIETTE My roommate works out at a m every day which means that his alarm goes off at a m and it s been affecting my sleep in a major way Related Articles Harriette Cole My twins are getting snappish over college acceptance Harriette Cole My neighbor didn t do a thing when his dog charged at me Harriette Cole One of my bridesmaids didn t show up for the wedding Harriette Cole Why would you take the side of the food police Harriette Cole The parents didn t tell me about the scary episode at the sleepover The noise alone is enough to jolt me out of my sleep and by the time I in the end manage to fall back to sleep it s almost time for me to get up for work I ve tried everything I can think of to deal with it I ve used earplugs I ve tried white noise machines and I ve even changed my sleep schedule in an attempt to go to bed earlier so I can get a solid limited hours of rest before the alarm goes off Nothing is working and it s affecting my mood my productivity and even my robustness I don t know how to approach my roommate about this issue I can t tell him that he can t wake up early to work out it s his routine and I don t want to make him feel bad At the same time I feel like my right to get a decent night s sleep has been absolutely compromised How do I talk to my roommate about this without making him feel like he has to choose between his fitness and my sleep Alarm Off DEAR ALARM OFF Speak to your roommate about his alarm Explain that you think it s great that he has such a rigorous and disciplined workout schedule but his alarm is disrupting your sleep Ask him if he can find another way to alert himself to get up There are silent vibrating alarms that can be worn on the wrist for exactly this purpose They are stated to work for even heavy sleepers DEAR HARRIETTE My friend keeps inviting me to work events where she s way too busy to interact or catch up with me To me it feels like a thoughtless effort I see her make time for other people outside of work quite often indeed Whenever I bring it up and explain that I wish we could have more personal time outside of her workplace which no offense is really not that intriguing to me she reminds me that she consistently includes me in everything she has going on I recognize that she is making great strides in her career at this moment which is why I choose to show up and backing her but it doesn t feel much like friendship anymore Should I try to be more understanding Or is it workable that she completely doesn t want to do other sessions with me Friends to Associates Related Articles Dear Abby I had feelings for my boss and then I was fired for a different reason Harriette Cole My twins are getting snappish over college acceptance Asking Eric A cemetery guard ruined my father s funeral and that was just the start Miss Manners I m embarrassed to be seen with the lollipop snatcher Dear Abby She won t dye her hair for her husband When did women get so touchy DEAR FRIENDS TO ASSOCIATES Assess the situation Do you gain any value at all from attending your friend s work events Do you meet compelling people or make meaningful contacts Do you help your friend in her career climb If so by all means continue to accept her invitations and make the greater part of the experiences Right now your friend is climbing the ladder of her career and not paying as close attention as you would prefer Give her grace Find other friends who can fill the void Notice over time if she comes back around Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO