Miss Manners: I was furious about being poked on the airplane

DEAR MISS MANNERS I was on a flight and sitting in the aisle seat The middle seat and window seat were occupied by strangers Related Articles Miss Manners I took flak for not declaring my kindergartner to be a graduate Miss Manners I m not going to stop taking candid photos of strangers Miss Manners How insistent can I be about the spelling of my child s name Miss Manners They snubbed us we cut them then things got awkward Miss Manners Chosen of my co-workers refuse to pay the potluck queen The plane had landed and people were standing in the aisle waiting for the door to open I remained seated waiting for the aisle to clear The woman in the window seat reached over and poked me telling me to stand up I have severe hearing loss I have a hearing aid and an implant I m not sure if she had been trying to tell me this and I hadn t heard her I was infuriated I notified her Don t poke me Don t touch me I thought we learned to keep our hands to ourselves in kindergarten What would Miss Manners do GENTLE READER Poking one s seat mate is not allowed Miss Manners will agree However while she realizes how hard it is on airplanes these days to locate space for all of one s body parts you are going to need to find space to put between your reasonable frustration with your seat mate s misbehavior and reacting with full-throttled fury Holding your arm and not instantly complying will make the point that attack is not the best way to obtain compliance It will also prevent things from escalating and allow you to take into account that your attacker might have a pressing health concern DEAR MISS MANNERS I m a population volunteer who participates in and has created population organizations to do a variety of projects arts history operation political advocacy and so forth I deeply enjoy it and have devoted a lot of time to this work over the years The other night though after feeling a little slowed down and more tired than usual I m in my late s with various age-related medicinal issues and thinking that I d like to start cutting back on certain of my volunteer load I commented to that effect during a meeting My friends likely thinking that they were expressing their admiration for my long-term productivity laughed at the idea that I could be feeling tired In other words instead of expressing sympathy and openness about helping me shed responsibilities they maybe assumed that I must be joking I was a little taken aback surprised and a little hurt What would be a good way to politely approach this at the next meeting GENTLE READER With an announcement that you are now cutting back Yes you will get more laughter denial and attempts to dissuade you It means more work for them and Miss Manners believes that is where you may expect their sympathy to be directed DEAR MISS MANNERS I am at a loss how to address and what to say to a couple with a turbulent marriage Last I heard from one of the spouses they were filing for divorce but that has happened several times before Related Articles Asking Eric My co-workers are bound to find out my age Harriette Cole I keep replaying the moment this date went bad Miss Manners I took flak for not declaring my kindergartner to be a graduate Dear Abby I had to skip the wedding because of the expense My friend hasn t spoken to me since Asking Eric Can I tell my guests this is particular crazy insurance rule I want to express my goodwill sincerely without stepping into potentially painful territory I can t bring myself to write or say Happy anniversary I have not seen or heard of a status update on social media but I don t follow closely Please advise me how to manage this tricky territory with respect and kindness GENTLE READER Curious though are we If you have not heard from them Miss Manners does not see that you have any immediate trouble Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www missmanners com to her email gentlereader missmanners com or through postal mail to Miss Manners Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO