Miss Manners: Is it really that weird to ask the server to pick my meal for me?

DEAR MISS MANNERS A friend and I have a long-standing semi-joking disagreement but I do think my behavior bothers her and I just don t understand why Related Articles Miss Manners The last straw with this woman was a dispute in my own kitchen Miss Manners I opened the office door and only then realized it was an unwanted visitor Miss Manners I was furious about being poked on the airplane Miss Manners I took flak for not declaring my kindergartner to be a graduate Miss Manners I m not going to stop taking candid photos of strangers We typically meet for dinner Now I am not a big dining-out person I am just not that interested in food I m more of an eat to live person if you know what I mean My friend gets a lot more enjoyment out of food than I do and I m perfectly happy to spend time with her at a restaurant even though the food itself isn t a main selling point for me if that makes sense It s a fine place to catch up with her The dilemma is that I usually ask the server to decide what I will have instead of ordering myself I have little interest in the food and as employees they certainly know the menu much better than I do and what people want when they come to that restaurant Last week when sought for my order I revealed Whatever makes sense Well the server and I had already chatted a little and he didn t seem to have a issue with my order He recommended something and I was fine with it but my friend was embarrassed and accused me essentially of being a poor restaurant patron She seems to feel that I m putting various kind of burden on the servers and possibly making them uncomfortable by asking them to decide what I get But to me I m only streamlining an interaction in which the server is best placed to know what I should order Is this really that weird GENTLE READER That you do not have a passion for food is fine That you are open to suggestions from your server is also fine But showing disdain for those who take it seriously by openly expressing your apathy is where Miss Manners and your friend discovered fault That is what made the interaction with the server uncomfortable not the asking itself If that makes sense and you know what Miss Manners means DEAR MISS MANNERS I sent out party invitations that included my grandnephew He RSVP d that he would be attending along with his girlfriend I had not invited the girlfriend I didn t even know he had one Of discipline she is welcome but is there a polite way to tell him that guests don t invite people who hadn t been invited in the first place I don t want to start a family feud or to let his mother my niece think that I am trying to tell her how to raise her son At least he RSVP d Related Articles Dear Abby How should I warn them about what s happening in the breakroom Asking Eric My partner embarrassed me with his behavior toward our neighbor Harriette Cole Should I tell this sneaky woman she s never getting her job back Miss Manners The last straw with this woman was a dispute in my own kitchen Dear Abby His wife won t speak to him for months at a time What should he do GENTLE READER True But doing so only when one wants to invite other people surreptitiously does not make it even As a polite warning for future invitations Miss Manners suggests you say to your niece We were so surprised and happy to hear that Chase has a girlfriend Had we known we would have put her on the invitation but I m glad she was able to attend anyway Of unit you could also say this to Chase himself In development he changes girlfriends Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www missmanners com to her email gentlereader missmanners com or through postal mail to Miss Manners Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO